Saturday, July 18th, 2009
Writer Catherine Lim has kindly expressed her support of No To Rape, together with the following message:
It seems very strange to me that in this day and age when women’s rights to be protected against violence are universally recognised and supported, that there can be any legal code that in effect permits the violation of her body with all that implies of physical, mental and emotional suffering, so long as the perpetrator is her own husband! Logically and morally, such a code is not defensible.
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Friday, July 17th, 2009
Hot on the heels of the last blog post, more signatures have appeared that need to be highlighted. The President of AWARE, Dana Lam, leaves a hard-hitting statement on the petition:
Men and women should stop raising boys as boys and start raising boys to reach for their full potential as creative, intelligent, compassionate people -same as how we should start raising girls. Rape is the violent cover up for men’s inadequacies. Get a life.
A message from a rape survivor, testifying yet again to the devastating impact of sexual violence:
I am a survivor of rape and sexual abuse. This occurance has disrupted my life beyond words. act with courage and wisdom
This signatory, too, speaks of the long-term suffering that rape inflicts:
Rape victims suffer a long time after the act has been committed. I should know. I was a victim myself. You never forget and never fully recover. No one should have to go through what countless other women have gone through.
Can we, as a society, really accept a Penal Code that states that inflicting these wounds is acceptable, as long as the perpetrator can produce a marriage registration? Can you?
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Friday, July 17th, 2009
No To Rape has now hit 1,000 signatures. Please keep up the good work of spreading the word!
Many signatures are accompanied by thoughtful and sometimes deeply personal comments. These messages unite voices from a range of perspectives and experiences, which together serve as a powerful testament to why the law must be changed to offer full protection from, and unqualified censure of, marital rape.
For example, consider the words accompanying the signature of former NMP and former President of AWARE Braema Mathi:
Often protecting persons in relationships is the most difficult task. Women prefer the silence to talking about being sexually assaulted by a husband, boyfriend, long-term partner. Having a law in place reassures women that they are not alone, they can talk about it, they can put an end to it, they can start the process of reclaiming themselves. This work by the organisers is yet another step to help women in Singapore get the protection they need under such circumstances.
This incisive account of how disempowered sexual violence can leave victims is borne out by another comment from someone who has experienced rape:
I was a rape victim. And rape is just something I feel NO woman should ever live with. Especially when the men aren’t penalised for that at all. It’s a scar that stays on with the victims for life. And why do women have to bear the dire consequences as a result of ignorant men’s reckless acts? Let’s all say no to rape.
This is the reality No To Rape and its supporters are working to address. Help us.
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Wednesday, July 15th, 2009
Constance Singam needs no introduction in the world of civil society. As a former President of AWARE, former President of the Singapore Council of Women’s Organisations, and key member of Transient Workers Count Too, amongst many other things, she has long worked hard for women’s welfare and the protection of the vulnerable. We are very pleased to announce her personal endorsement of the No To Rape campaign. Here is her message of support:
“Rape is rape.
Rape is rape, regardless of the relationship between the rapist and the victim. The rapist can be a total stranger or someone you know or someone you are married to.
Marital rape is the worst kind of violation of a most trusting, intimate and cherished relationship between a man and a woman.
Marital Rape should therefore be criminalized.”
Our sincere thanks to Constance Singam for these strong words against sexual violence in any guise.
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Saturday, July 11th, 2009
In Afghanistan, too, marital immunity for rape is being hotly debated. In March, the President signed a law entitling men to sexual access to their wives’ bodies every four days – in effect, legalising marital rape. This was accompanied by other proposals marking Afghan women out as property of their husbands: for example, requiring them to obtain permission before leaving their homes. This was met by intense domestic protest, with hundreds of women taking to the streets of Kabul, and widespread international outcry.
This has had a welcome effect. Earlier this week, Afghan Justice Ministry officials announced they were backing down.
Like the Afghan demonstrators, we too must make our voices heard. The signatories on this petition have increased to more than 600, and now include – in addition to the notable figures we mentioned a few days ago – NMP Siew Kum Hong, TV presenter Anita Kapoor, playwright Ovidia Yu, legal academic Associate Professor Chan Wing Cheong, former NTU Associate Professor Alfred Choi, and radio emcee Joe Augustin.
Our numbers are growing, but if we work together to keep spreading the message, we can do even better. So keep up the good work of circulating this URL through blogs, email and social media. Sign up for our newsletter. And please keep coming back to the blog. In the coming weeks, we will announce many more exciting actions we can all take to help create a victory for justice in Singapore.
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Monday, July 6th, 2009
Thank you for the 360 signatures to date. Every single one of them is a step towards ending marital immunity for rape in Singapore. At the moment our signatories include notable figures like Ng Yi-Sheng, Adrianna Tan, Kenneth Jeyaretnam and Seelan Palay, as well as religious leaders such as Father Paul Staes from the Catholic Church and the Reverend Dr Yap Kim Hao. We hope to see even more in the coming days.
It’s hard for most people who have experienced rape to talk about it at all, but in the case of marital rape the betrayal of trust involved, and the position of interdependence or dependence between the spouses, can sometimes make it even harder. The failure of the law to recognise this as criminal violence may add a further layer of difficulty.
Knowing this, we are moved to see messages on our petition testifying to experiences of marital rape. To those who speak up about their own experiences of marital rape, and those who work with the victims of marital rape, thank you for your courage and generosity in sharing your stories. Your words make it even clearer that this is an issue which impacts upon real lives, which are hurt by real crimes – and that we need to make real change.
In the words of one signatory:
I am recently divorced from a violent marriage. I was unaware that sex would account to rape if the husband insists on sex but the wife does not consent. I hope this petition will educate and protect wives from being raped by their husbands.
Another says:
Marital rape is commonly carried out in cases of domestic violence. As a psychologist, many clients have told me of the horror of being raped by their husband
A third message reads:
I know at least 5 married women in Singapore who has been raped by their husbands before.This is completely despicable. I’ll be ashamed to be a Singaporean if nothing results from this petition. Really.
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